paranoia

this long extended break is coming to an end.. all the four years i worked in Dubai i was looking forward to this break.. i justified almost every sad/bad thing about work and the place by saying.. "there is a definite end in sight".. and now that has come and gone!
when i start work in April it will be after nearly 3 years.. after 3 years on BREAK!

and now this has to be the last 'big vacation' for a long long time .. like for about 35 odd years!

and lots of not-so-happy things staring at me..
1. i am nearly 27... the number looks big even to me now a days.. like shit that is OLD.. for most of my life i was like the youngest guy around.. and it has taken me most of the 2 year MBA to realize i am on the other end of that spectrum now.
2. unexiting pay..cant afford to spend like no tomorrow for .. the foreseeable future :(
3. unknown location of work..i just cant imagine selling oil in lets say Kerala.. even for a year.. or some district in karnataka.. i'll die
4. logic tells me i need to get married in the next 2 years..i'l be touching 30 then!
5. every guy needs a house, car and money to stay up in style.. i always assumed when i needed these things i'd have the cash.. :(
it boils down to this..age puts those breaks on the risks you can take in life, each decision becomes uncomfortably more serious.. okay i was never the flamboyant risk loving dude, yet i wasnt the conservative type either. i scoffed at the relatively risk averse guys n girls.. it could be the super conservative family guy who would think twice before eating out (and i never thought i'd be like that some day) or the guy who would be super careful about investments.. suddenly one day you are 26 or 27 and you think.. there isnt much time now.. if u scew up now. there is little less time left to fix it..investments you have now are important because suddenly in a few years you are going to have a wife..and kids.. (yeah the idea seems so funny now..but it is real:(.. )and it is going to be that much more difficult to have a disposable income..

suddenly the government needs taxes (Dubai never asked for them!), parents need supporting, loans need repayment, life and medical insurances need premiums, that savings account needs some support..

reality strikes.