cobwebs..

going through some old messages while clearing my phone of old stuff, some of them brought back such vivid memories of when i got or sent them..
like this one in the sent folder.. "i got cargill" .. i remember the day. there was a cricket match and as i came out, india won and i got the job. as i sent this message out i dint know if i sh`ould be happy or relieved
again.. as i go through the messages. .for mushy sms's there s no shortage and some i wonder how i ever wrote them.. or what they really mean
being single again means all those cute messages look wierder with each passing day.
it also means all the simple things that became habits, rituals.. are missing in my life. suddenly i have a lot of time in my hands, much less time on the phone, much less time thinking..
it s fun to be out with friends, drinks and strangers..

insomnia..

i m n insomniac once again. it must b a period of the year thing r something.. it happened last year n the year before n if i remember d year before tht also arnd this time(of the year).. maybe some stars come aligned or something like that n changes my life n takes my sleep away..

To the brink

sense does prevail, though not always and not for ever. they have stopped blocking blogs, well that is a little less of nonsense. hm. just when the firewall became so unbearable so as to make internet useless, we find the tors and ultrasurfs of the world..
gets me thinking, how things get to a brink but almost never falls off beyond that imperceptible brink; or is it the brink that is ever stretching. am i tempting fate, or am i saying that i want it once, maybe once just once fall over that edge of the world.., but yeah the world ain't a cube.
i have never been in a situation where there wasn't a way out, been never in front of a car that dint brake in time..never been so drunk i fell unconscious on the road, never been shot, hit or killed, never found a fatal disease.. is it the watchful father above, is it fate, luck, or just ain't my day of judgment yet.
is it just that i assume the worst, believe the unbelievable, think of what i shouldnt. god forbid i start believing i will never face a wall, defeat, loss and pain. i will. i have. maybe i just forget.