mallu hallo

how does a malayalee say 'excuse me'.. there are three four things they do.. all proven and tested by many malayalis, and apparently better than the excuse me

first for instance if you are standing in someones way, or someone wants to call you.. malayali men and women do what i call the rattle snake.. they hiss.. one 'shhhss shh' noise.. very typical and unmistakable.. move out of way or atleast turn and look back
now if you are from outside, i.e if you happen to be non or fake mal then u obviously dont get this.. you continue to stand there right..

then the second attack comes.. this round starts with the squirrel.. which goes like 'stzu stzu stzu' said in a rapid spurt, this is followed with a set of non-committal giggles (normally looks around at other mals arnd who normally immediately understands the rattle snake, and makes out the outsider who does Not get the rattle snake, and a few silent hellos and muttering..

now, if you are ufortunate enough not have heard and reacted to this, which by the way would be normal for the non/fake mal, the third and dreaded weapon is taken out on the unsuspecting individual.. the scratch!
this is used especially by ladies, you can expect a scratch in the most wierd of places.. like the middle of your back, your fingers!, your waist..
and at this point the panicked innocent has jumped out of the way and in most cases out of his or her skin..

now the victor will walk by the vanquished like nothings happened, like all that was said was "excuse me.."