new music, new news, new movies new gf new this new that
i fear barring a few, i would ideally like new people as well
perhaps i am a hopeless optimist
forever believing that the future is better, that the next time it is definitely going to be better, and even that this is better than the last.. (and while it lasts, secretly laughin thinking, "hey.... you dont know, but the my next one is going to be better)
for as long as i can remember i have never wanted time to go faster, at times i have willed it to be slower, forever believing that the moment i lived in was so much better than the ones i hav ever had before, better than i deserve, than i should expect it to be
call it whatever you may, misplaced modesty..nonsense
add to this the blind faith that tomorrow is going to be this bright great day
.
and why is there this need to be loved. what strange insecurities we have!
this is perhaps just love for myself. in a different costume. let me try in this 'single' time to fend off this need
I sometimes think several of us despise the past, give it very little thought. past is passe for me.
it is so difficult to remember what people were like, their little nuances, the way someone walked, someones eyes, smells, way they felt
i think i dont like the way i was in the past, and this statement is dynamic,.. i dont like me in the last second. . :P
i have hardly had friends from the past meeting friends of the future, the situation has sucked every time. it is just not the same me they have each seen.
me now is not the same as me a minute later, ok.. i exaggerate, but overall we all change so much. so so much. i have read, visiting parents years after moving out is one of the most stressing times for many, the sheer memories these visits evoke freaks some out. parents knew you last when u were in school or maybe college. not blaming them or antyhing but they have no clue who you are. and then you go there with a date or wife or whoever, and suddenly it is a whole different you!
but then there are these few people you come by once in a while, those rare creatiures who somehow just know you.. i know some like this..i will cherish them..it d be nice to fill up my life with people like this.. and i love them all to one extent or nther.
