insanity calls

I Wonder if insanity would knock before it comes? kind of ring a bell and announce - "hey, here i am, and now you are insane". Wonder what is worse, being insane or not knowing that you are insane. Yeah, how would you know you are insane, for you ARE, INSANE!
i have this rather insane fear that i am going insane, perhaps this is one of my worser fears, of losing touch with reality. Of a world that finds you wierd but you somehow failing to notice. So i keep running this reality check, something that makes me rather always a little uncomfortable in most situations, however most comfortable that situation may be.

There are people with whom i feel comfortable, natural, real..with little insanity There is one with whom i feel none, with her i perhaps do not need to be sane. no expectations of a pretense nor is there a need for an act. i found comfort there. will there be another like.

Insanity is perhaps a measure of the drive to perform, and is nothing but the detachment from yourself to put up a show for others, to star in the act this life is.
There are some with whom there is this heightened fear of it. There are some, who revel in their own insanity. There are some who draw it out.
Perhaps being in a competitive world, there are just a few who manage to retain their sanity, there is a peace and happiness in the eyes of these few. They are who they are, really. they dont change with the situation, they dont need to justify their act, they keep their word. I just love people like this. Wow, to be sane!

Yet, what is life without a tinge of insanity, for a little insanity is a dose of fun, like a pinch of dope. Insanity is both the disease, its visible symptoms and also a cure. Insanity is what keeps me alive. Insane i never want to be.