Mind

I dont truly feel things like i used to.. the way happiness or sadness was all emcompassing long back.. feelings used to had a live connection to the head..or heart(whatever it is we feel with).. that has been cut now. now things are filtered.. almost like the sensitivity dial has been turned down.. maybe like the aperture of a camera..you just roll it up to reduce what comes in..what is recorded.
perhaps it is that the first time you do something it creates a new circuit..all fresh and sharp in flavour.. then the second time it is a little less so..third time it is almost bland.
for instance.. the sights and sounds of this beatiful place i live in no longer holds any appeal to me..execpt when i go with someone who is new here..then i too can feel a little of the wonder the other person feels.
maybe it is like how a kid is all ticklish..super sensitive..
i know someone grown up who is like that.. super sensitive..to touch..to ideas..to emotions.. maybe it is nice to be like that. even when you have grown up. or maybe it is not so nice because then you have to be on your guard all the time.. having to hide behind walls and barriers..

Morning news..

My newspaper guy doesn't like me! for one he refused to put a paper at my door for very long.. telling the watchman, putting up notices etc did not work.
and i really need the newspaper in the mornng,... especially the thick TOI types which has so much to gloss over and not much to read, but which you dont unfortunately get in this corner of hte world (here it is only the Hindu and Indian Express, both apparently believe in saving newsprint and printing only the boringest of news..and editorials..the newspaper gets over before it starts!...and then you have the mal paper Malayala Manorama which believe it or not, devotes maximum space to obituaries!! serious! the last 2 pages are obituaries..and it is almost certainly the most read page in the whole paper!..

..any way i have deviated to a sad kerala rant..so coming back to the newspaper guy..

one day i actually decided to catch the dude in the morning..so i got up at 5:30 and stood out to spot him.. and at 5:45 there he came dropping off papers to my neigbhours and ignoring me.. so i caught up with him and asked him nicely.."chetta..pls put the hindu at flat 3-5/2 tommorw.."
so the chetta replies.. "oh sare.. u r a bachelor?"... i m like hmm yeah!.. so he says sori.. cant give paper to bachelors!. apparently bachelors dissapear without paying or some crap like that.. so i fished out 100 bucks and gave him..advance good will money. so he promised to put a hindu at my door the next day.

next morning all excited i open the door at 7 and tada! there is a malayala manorama at my door!.. and hence all my attempts to make him put a hindu have failed.. obviously the watchman forgets, newspaper man does not read A4 size notices on my door which said "PUT THE HINDU"..

so now i sip my coffee with obituaries in the malayala manorama.. i think i am turning into a real malayali

blog or not to blog

I have not been blogging for insane long now.. but not that i have forgotten abt this page or not that there hasnt been much happening either.. (in fact a lot lot has happened.. more on that if i can restart d blogging)

but i was just thinking on why i should blog..

well, i think for one it is very flattering to think somebody actually reads the blog..makes you feel important in some inane or vain way..
then equally important is that the blog life seems so much more interesting than the real thing.. it is mysterious,vague and leaves so much to interpretation that almost always you end up looking smarter than you are
like for instance right now my social life can be summed up in two words (non-existent) .. yeah even one word might do.. nada!.. but till i said it you didnt really know right?
and somehow whenever i read blogs mostly i wonder how their lives would be and leaves me curious to know more.. again that mysterious things works for me atleast..

and of course you can use spell check and the thesaurus to put in big words, you can cook up variations in your story etc (no..i dont do that .. )

so in all.. i think i have convinced i should keep blogging.

for that cant be said..

CAR

My first car! looks like it s going to be the swift Diesel.. boy it has taken some deciding to finally get to the swift..
i think i started with a 3.5 to an upper cut off of 4 lacs. The Chevy Beat or the Basic Ford Figo were options I was thinking of in Delhi. In between i was even sure i would buy a second hand Swift Petrol..
then it was the i10, the i10 became the Ritz Diesel with the smart salesman working out cost of ownership and all all that..
The Ritz Diesel has now gone on to the Swift Diesel..
hmm..

Seduced..

Five months and she has got to me. The routine has started again, familiarity has grown and so has the attachment..
I think it has taken a little longer this time.. but Kerala has finally got to me..

familiarity with her body, and with her mind, but most of all with her sheer beauty..has taken me in..
Now with the rains still on, some of the scenes are so mesmerizing, it is a little difficult to remind myself that I am here, in that scenery, that the rain outside the window is the real thing, and not a scene from the TV or a National Geographic spread. I have not taken a single photograph since i have come here, but it feels like that is ok, because Kerala has so much beauty to offer, it is okay if i don't capture and save a little of her in my lens..she will be there tomorrow also, in her pristine splendor.

Familiarity is such a sweet thing.. for little routines to set in.. to find a nice breakfast joint, a classy restaurant, a familiar grocer, a well stocked book store.. good hotels for my travels... to know when it will rain, when there would be a power-cut..
It is nice to have roads which leads to places i know, to have a picture in mind when i overhear a conversation about a place

The screwed-up people, the lack of a social life, the smallness of the world here.. things that used to drive me to the brink still do, but they seem little less important now..
Well... i think Kerala has seduced me with her beauty..there is so much to travel..to explore.. now with the car coming in i should get all over the place..

mallu hallo

how does a malayalee say 'excuse me'.. there are three four things they do.. all proven and tested by many malayalis, and apparently better than the excuse me

first for instance if you are standing in someones way, or someone wants to call you.. malayali men and women do what i call the rattle snake.. they hiss.. one 'shhhss shh' noise.. very typical and unmistakable.. move out of way or atleast turn and look back
now if you are from outside, i.e if you happen to be non or fake mal then u obviously dont get this.. you continue to stand there right..

then the second attack comes.. this round starts with the squirrel.. which goes like 'stzu stzu stzu' said in a rapid spurt, this is followed with a set of non-committal giggles (normally looks around at other mals arnd who normally immediately understands the rattle snake, and makes out the outsider who does Not get the rattle snake, and a few silent hellos and muttering..

now, if you are ufortunate enough not have heard and reacted to this, which by the way would be normal for the non/fake mal, the third and dreaded weapon is taken out on the unsuspecting individual.. the scratch!
this is used especially by ladies, you can expect a scratch in the most wierd of places.. like the middle of your back, your fingers!, your waist..
and at this point the panicked innocent has jumped out of the way and in most cases out of his or her skin..

now the victor will walk by the vanquished like nothings happened, like all that was said was "excuse me.."