Bag is mine

who packed me bags, i do like to do it myself. I fancy it new and colourful, a pretty package definitely; but my squashy nose, rash hair and constant twitch in the neck were all pre packed, DNAs and whatever else my parents bestowed on me. so large bones were packed in by the fish and calcium sandoz tablets mom fed me for 'strong bones'. the "more than we can actually afford" school was neatly folded in by dad. Even as i'd rather quetly acknowledge these, i blow my trumpets elsewhere. the belief systems, faith in a religion, in God, morals and ethics i believe i have, well, those too were packed by family, bags handed over by parents and parents of parents. parents of parents of parents. so, on reflection, the bags actually look older now, handed over genereation to next. yet, they are a handsom lot.yet these bags have in them a few things that none else packed in. me exist, oh those in the corner, experience, the happiness i chesish, the sadnes i keep packed up, those i packed. i need to repack and look again at what excess baggage i carry around, what hangs so heavy around my neck. pull out some of those more interesting things from somewhere within, to be able to listen to what happens around, to feel the rush again, to actually get high, to feel like first time this time too.

"Leave Out All The Rest" Linkin Park

I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared

After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shared what I made

I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are

;)

Anyone Else But You (The Moldy Peaches)

Soundtrack: Juno - damn nice for a movie soundtrack..

You're a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on you're back is the latest trend
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Here is the church and here is the steeple
We sure are cute for two ugly people
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

We both have shiny happy fits of rage
You want more fans, I want more stage
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

You are always trying to keep it real
I'm in love with how you feel
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train
I kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to side
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me
So why can't, you forgive me?
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Du dududu dududu du dududu
Du dududu dududu du dududu
I don't see what anypne can see, in anyone else
But you

is blind

"in her elusiveness, like a thought that presents itself to consciousness and vanishes before it can be captured by words, lay her peculiar charm"

all the things we did

unassuming and unexpected

colours like the rainbows

memories that break into smiles

happines in feelings yet unexplored

i call it the unbelievable lightnes of being

Something nice...

"think about the rain outside

when we made love

think about my expression when you sketched me

think about pleasent things

think about what we had

about the rain we got drenched in

love you kuts"