somebody invent really fast trains....and a lot lot of them

i really like traveling, but to an equal measure i hate planning and booking the tickets, stay, people etc. it sucks, looking at irctc web site which works like an overcrowded old bus,just about working.
and this site gives you the very feeling of living in an overcrowded packed to the rim country.. like there are a hundred trains going all over the place but there ain't a single ticket you can get anywhere. and like everything Indian there's a que and a fight and a rush at godforsaken hours for that tatkal ticket that does not happen. okay so hell yeah the flights are cheap these days (well not really) but then i don't like flights. i want to do the train, i love the train. dirty stinking and late as they are - they have scenery! they have chai and cheap food. i can lie down and read a book! hm i don't have to check in my luggage and hope that bored looking dude remembers to throw it into the same flight - throw yeah luggage becomes throw-things - and my packed to the brim (yeah we Indians like to fill that bag sit on it zip it up till it bulges and leaks) suitcase looks back sentimentally at me as it's shoved down the conveyor by unfriendly luggage of my co passengers.
then the wait at the airport again for the bag to roll back and u know my bag is always the last to arrive on that belt, like t he belt goes around and around and when it's just me and few old men around there it comes slow and peeking around the corner.
then of course in between there is the flight itself which i guess is the least painful, except the bored yet i should serve you with a smile and yeah i know i look good and you can stare if u want look on the air hostesses face as they stand and invite us in (but yeah i am with them..that job of standing and inviting people 5 times a day and doing that same acrobatics of pulling life jackets with a hundred eyes looking at ya ain't fun am sure)

as i look back

looking back at the last few years i realize i am happy. just 6 years back i was disillusnd with life. and maybe hoped to someday get somewhere like where i am now. and perhaps never really believed that i could. confused n lost, i feared a boring, insipid life.
yestday night i realized this. n i thought i better be happy. and that i remember this. hence the blog.

memories @ scmhrd

the memorable moments in these 2 years.. in no particular order..

> when subbu suddenly came up with my name as the person who outperformed during summers. It was a complete shocker.. he said. ."and georgey (in my mind it went like.. uh oh the company has complained abt me!!) has done such a job in madura (i am like... shit no please not in public at least) that he has re-defined retail for madura.. the boss called and he and was very happy with georgey..
i could not decide whether to smile laugh or run from there

> trip to Tapmi manipal. that entire season was beautiful. the best semester in campus. second sem.

> the day someone wanted to leave the campus and go away. it took a heartful n lot of convincing to stop her. i realized somethings about me on that day as well.

> new years night of 2007-08. the rick and the wait for the 2AM bus back to campus. that toxic concoction of emotions.

> Food poisoning in Goa and the following events i would rather forget but yet. first time buddies have taken care of a vomiting fainting me

> Summers in Bangalore, many unforgettable experiences. and one unforgettable person. the trip to nandi hills. the library. and every moment in that beautiful campus.

> Watching the luxury marketing event happen after working non-stop for a month. the feeling was truly worth the effort i put in

> Getting placed.16th Dec, 2008. in the afternoon. I wanted it more than anything else in the world right at that moment. my second GD and second interview. those were moments surreal.

> smoking up in goa (second trip) and subsequently here in the room. the goa falling flat on my face after 4-5 rounds in a carrot chillum on the beach.

> the day i heard of getting into scmhrd. got a message on the train on my way to Manipal. I half knew i wud get scmhrd from the subbu episode at the interview in chenai. Shivram apte took the interview and i had a truly nice one. after that i was waiting outside with clinton filling some form and this ugly lookin big guy talks to me about Montblanc. and then he says "you do a winter project on the market entry strategy of Montblanc in India when u come to scmhrd. @@!"
yaay!

> first day on campus. everybody had a rose.

> passing out. the wait for the job to start. almost there. in three days.

some shit

two years at the bschool have run out, the various stories here have run their course. All that remains are memories, a house of memories that slowly but surely will become empty, then crumble brick by brick till all that will remain are a few stones

i have surely changed in these two years, changed enough to call it worthwhile.
i have seen a few things and understood some things very important
and not many of them have to do with that they taught us here

for instance
> i have learnt that luck plays such a strong hand in any situation. luck or chance, most of what happens is random chance.
> i've seen that timing is so dam important, be it timing your jokes, or telling a story. be it cracking that interview, selling your idea. if you have the intelligence and intuition to time your actions, then you are destined to succeed
> i've seen that people can be perverse to unbelievable extents. i know of a person whose family arranged potential suitor asked for phone sex in a week. money, sex, love, attention - people will do anything for these things.
> i've seen that wanting something bad enough is the only way to have it. half measures rarely work. being slack for a minute means you are lost.
> Having fun and enjoyin what you do is the only way to do it well. involving others in your life, work, secrets, weakneses, ideas, hopes, passion n crushes is a secret to happiness.
> ethics, morals and principles work only til the first time you break them. after tat they are just words. cheat once and the second time it aint cheating any more.
> think through every conversation, plan every presentation, for leaving these things to chance is a recipe for failure.
> only a few things bring happiness: love, sharing, friendship. this is a corny line, cliched, yet for the first time i understand how true it is
> ego is painful. really. every time. and each time i have decided to chuck it, i have been grateful. and happy.

the first time

there was this large party in college this evening and i still dont like a large crowd, of pushing dancing people, people i may not want to dance with. i am not that social a creature.
it s funny 'cause it s fun to, but somewhere i m like.. wht a wasted effort.

i was thinking of the times when i would have excited about a party
so many things that were special
the first time i made money - the first salary
the first time i got into a fight - when i hit a guy - the adrenaline!
the first time i kissed a girl - that special smell that i cant forget
the first time i jumped into deep water for a swim and thought i wud drown - the panic
the first time i flew in a plane - made me feel like i was going somewhere
the first time i got into a accident - the suddenness
the first time i drove a bike - felt so powerful
the first time i fell in love - the happiness
the first time i got completely drunk - i absoultely have no idea now

a few lines

how can i feel nostalgia for somethng i have never known
or how can i have something i left behind

how can i tell if this is for real
when reality yet has not been defined

how can i decide between right and wrong
when all i have seen is my perspective

how can i tell you this is the truth
or that it does not really matter

small talk

every now n then chance takes you to a dinner or lunch where awkwardness hangs like a phyical thing.. like u can almost feel it
i was out for dinner today n it was one of those days wen each person at d table was there because of person who called them out.. n we wouldn't have ever been in that combination otherwise
among dumb jokes n stupid attempts at conversation, a good topic to talk upon were like so welcome,
n if there s one person who u could have a normal conversation with, decency n other people's inquisitiveness spoils any chance of that
boredom n food remain d only company